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Glossary of TG Terms - Humorous Version


Ageism, n.

Discrimination on the basis of age, a charge which could not possibly be fairly levelled at the many gender psychiatrists who deny assistance to trans women over 50 years old.

Apartheid, n.

System of rigidly dividing and labelling people for the purposes of facilitating legal discrimination.  Regarded as a Bad Thing™ when practised with respect to racial categories, but as a Good Thing™ when used to force people into one of two artificial categories of gender.

Assault, n.

Unwanted sexual contact to which trans people have all too frequently been subjected by those "evaluating" them prior to -- and especially in the course of -- their transition.  In particular, some psychiatrists seem to find palpation of the mammary glands a vital source of information on their clients' mental state.

Barbie, n.

Commercially successful brand of female doll portraying a narrow and outdated stereotype of femininity.  Used by the Gender Industry as a role model for trans women.

Beard, n.

Facial hair growth sported by many trans men, as part of an ancient tradition.  (see "God").

Bible, n.

Best-selling philosophical and historical book, written by God (q.v.) with lots of smoting, smiting and begetting.  Research by Lynne Lavner notes that "The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and three hundred and sixty-two admonishments to heterosexuals.  That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals.  It's just that they need more supervision."

Birth certificate, n.

A document carved in stone, sacred to believers in the small but powerful sect of Birth Registrars.  A key tenet of the registrars' faith is that the Birth Certificate can be amended only if the registrar made a mistake ... but their creed does not permit them to consider the only conclusive evidence of gender identity, that of people themselves.  (see also "infallibility" and "callousness")

Black market, n.

Derogatory term applied by the Gender Industry to the process by which trans people denied medical treatment through formal channels obtain hormonal and other medication through unofficial routes, where the dangers of lack of monitoring may be outweighed by the mental health benefits of avoiding contact with the Gender Industry.

Brown, John, n., prop

Grossly incompetent surgeon operating in Mexico in the 1990s, making a fine living out of butchering trans people from the USA who were desperate for medical treatment without the restrictions of the SOC.  (see also "secondary pollution")

Carry letter, n., colloq

Slang term for scrap of paper issued by gender psychiatrists, purporting to offer legitimisation of a trans person living his or her life as they wish.  No known purpose, except to add weight to a trans woman's handbag (q.v).  [Further research may yet reveal a usage developed by trans men, but little hope is held out of uncovering any such incidents.]

Child, n.

Young human being, unaffected by social stereotyping and generally very accepting of human diversity, and of trans people.  Children are therefore carefully protected from trans people by family courts, who frequently deny access to them by trans parents.  This is a necessary step to ensure that anti-trans prejudice is maintained through the generations.

Childhood, n.

Debilitating condition affecting at some time most of the human population, described at great length in the funniest document on the PFC website.

Christian, n.

Follower of a religion based on its founder's vision of universal love.  Creatively reinterpreted by many churches to require the condemnation and exclusion of trans people.

Client-centred, adj.

An approach by which service providers (such as medical staff) ensure that their services are designed and implemented to reflect the needs of their clients.  Carefully avoided within the Gender Industry (q.v.), except by a very few honourable practitioners, whose careers are endangered by the risk of ostracism by other professionals.

Complaints procedure, n.

Formal process by which trans people attending gender identity clinics may voice their concerns about their medical treatment, and then have said treatment restricted (or, in some cases, terminated) for lack of what the 1998 "Standards of Care" term 'compliance' (see 1998 SOC, part B, Para 5).

Consent, n.

The mechanism by which trans people are required by the Gender Industry (q.v.) to agree to any obstacle placed in their way.  Not to be confused with the practise by which intersexed people are subject to mutilating surgery before they are old enough to offer or withhold agreement.

Co-option, n.

The process by which trans people trained in medicine or psychology are encouraged to legitimate the Gender Industry.  This is achieved by participating in its development of prescriptive theories and the legitimisation and implementation of gatekeeping procedures in return for insignificant and unenforceable concessions relating to their implementation (see also "Uncle Tom").  Brilliantly illustrated in the development of the 1998 Standards of Care (q.v.), when the defeat of a proposal to further restrict access to HRT was hailed as proof of the importance of trans participation and consent in the development of such repressive regulations.  Umm, sorry folks: you just fell for the oldest trick in the book, and propped up a corrupt status quo.

Coroner, n.

State official charged under English law with determining the cause of death.  Customary practice of UK coroners is to disregard any evidence of cross-gender identity, thereby ensuring that official records and statistics provide no clue as to the death rate among trans people excluded by the gender industry (q.v.) (see also "death certificate").

Counsellor, n.

Critically important person offering non-judgmental support to his or her clients, a process somewhat misunderstood by a wholly unqualified (and now-discredited) person who charged me good money to talk at me for 25 minutes before pronouncing definitively on the nature of my gender identity.  Good counsellors can be invaluable, but trans people all too often fall prey, as I did, to prescriptive charlatans.

Crotch, n.

Term commonly used to describe the area between a person's legs, and of limitless and disturbing fascination to journalists who repeatedly ask what a trans person has there.  I find that "hair" is the best answer.

DSM, n., abbrev

Abbreviation for the "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual", a lengthy work of comic fiction published by the American Psychiatric Association (APA).  Currently in its fourth major edition (known as the DSM-IV), this volume hilariously attempts to classify every aspect of human existence as a disorder, thereby legitimating the involvement of its members in devising expensive and intrusive methods of "treatment" for every living person.  Having already introduced several delightfully whimsical categories for trans people, the ultimate goal of the DSM's witty and satirical writers is to develop so many categories that every living person will require the services of at least one psychiatrist, eventually ensuring that there will be more psychiatrists than people.  Despite its great comic potential, this mischievous document has been little noticed by the general public due to its large physical size and high cover price.

Death certificate, n.

Legal document recording the end of a human life, which affords the bureaucrats one final chance to misrepresent the gender status of a trans person.  (see also "Coroner")

Decade, n.

The period of time frequently required to complete gender transition at the major Gender Identity Clinics.

Deed poll, n.

Formal legal mechanism under which citizens of the UK may change their names, only to have such changes ignored for crucial legal purposes.  (see also "practical joke" and "birth certificate").

Diagnosis, n.

The process by which a psychiatrist listens at great length to a trans person's account of her or his own identity, adds big words, and either disregards it entirely or spuriously claims it as his own.  (see also "intellectual fraud")

Dignity, n.

A term used to describe self-respect and respect from others.  This concept is best left outside by those attending many of the current Gender Identity Clinics.

Discrimination, n.

The caring process by which an employer decides to sacrifice his own self-interest by rejecting the job application of a trans person in favour of a less qualified applicant who is not trans.  Regrettably outlawed throughout the European Union due to the successful litigation of a PFC campaigner, but still practised widely elsewhere in the world -- and still believed to be legal in the EU in fields other than employment.

Disorder, n.

The term historically applied by psychiatrists to the mental state of gay and lesbian persons (rescinded only after sustained and widespread protest), but still applied to trans people, c.f. "The Gender Identity Disorders are Mental Disorders", paragraph heading in the 1998 "Standards of Care", part II. (see also "slander")

Dysfunctional, adj.

Psychiatric term for a person who does not function properly in society, also used to describe anyone whose world-view does not accord with psychiatrically-prescribed norms.  Dysfunctionality is a requirement of the so-called "Standards of Care" for adolescents to receive medical treatment to assist their transition.  The SOC allows assistance to be offered only to those trans youth whose "social, intellectual, psychological, and interpersonal development are limited as a consequence of their [trans nature]".  (1998 SOC, part V. 'The Treatment of Adolescents', para 6 clause 3).  This means that treatment should be denied to children who have received sufficient societal and family support to live without undue distress in their true gender.  If these rules are to be followed, sympathetic and caring parents of trans children might be best advised to traumatise and humiliate their offspring rather than risk denial of medical treatment.

Electro-convulsive therapy (ECT), n.

The process of passing electrical current through the brain of a human being, originally developed as a means of controlling mentally disturbed persons for the convenience of care staff, and later adopted as a "therapy" because its effect of damaging the brain's functions subdues the victim (technically referred to as a "patient").  Widely used in psychiatric hospitals world-wide, and known to have been used historically on many trans people, no figures are available on its current application to those who do not fit gender stereotypes.  However, the procedure may be legally performed in most countries (including the UK) despite the express opposition of the victim, and several thousand cases of such legally-sanctioned assault occur annually in the UK.

Eve, n. prop

The first trans woman, created by the since-discarded technique of rib-transplant.

Fear, n.

Slanderous misnomer for the love and affection felt by trans people for practitioners in the gender industry.  It is this powerful human bond which discourages trans people from challenging those whose sexual assaults, humiliations, denials of treatment and inadequate endocrinological monitoring have so enhanced the lives of thousands of contented victims.

Feminism, n.

A set of discourses through which women have attempted to challenge their repression, whether through outright discrimination or the enforcement of stereotypes.  Strictly forbidden within the Gender Industry.

Follow-up, n.

The process by which Gender Identity Clinics fail to collect any information on the often tragic fate of those excluded for not fitting their narrow, stereotyped and casually assessed criteria.  Anecdotal evidence suggests that a significant number commit suicide.  (See also "three wise monkeys").

Forked tongue, n.

Anatomical oddity common in politicians, which allows them to simultaneously express their sympathy for the legal plight of trans people, whilst issuing delightfully creative excuses for doing nothing to resolve the problem.  This is not a birth defect: it can occur at any time in life, but is particularly likely to effect those who achieve government office, and find that they now have the power to honour assurances given whilst in opposition.

Gatekeeping, n.

The unnecessary, prejudiced and humiliating process by which a select band of psychiatrists deny trans people the freedom to decide their own destiny, and make a comfortable living on the way.  Commercial pressure has forced the extension of this role to psychologists, psychotherapists and others (see also ( HBIGDA )-now>( WPATH )).

Gender, n.

A term describing many aspects of human expression and identity, conveniently packaged into two neat stereotypes for anyone unwilling to think.  (see also "Ken" and "Barbie")

Gender Dysphoria, n.

A seriously debilitating and highly dangerous mental disorder afflicting prosperous professionals working with trans people, causing them to regard diversity of human identity as a problem to be regulated.  The only known cure for this dangerous state is immediate withdrawal of all gatekeeping powers.

Gender Identity Clinic, n.

A form of advanced training school for bureaucrats destined for the front line of obstructing the public and delaying achievement of their institution's stated purpose.  The most proficient staff at a GIC not merely delay, but actually prevent the achievement of the advertised objective of their institution.

Gender Identity Disorder, n.

Medical term for a gender identity which does not conform to a narrow set of stereotypes.  (see also "Gender Dysphoria".)

Gender Industry, n.

A lucrative business of little benefit to its clients, functioning as a profitable monopoly by guarding the means of access to certain medical treatments.

Genetics, n.

One of several branches of science (q.v.) believed by some to offer hope of providing conclusive proof of the nature of trans people to those unwilling to accept that people know their own identities.

God, n. prop

Universally respected practical joker, inaccurately and unfairly derided by Woody Allen as an "under-achiever".  Best joke so far: creating gender as a boundless multi-dimensional quality, and luring humans into believing that it can be reduced to a bi-polar model.  Also, pioneer of gender transition through surgical means (see "Eve" and "rib"), and instigator of the practice by which trans men grow beards (q.v.), though there is no conclusive evidence that God is himself a trans man.

Handbag, n.

Offensive weapon disguised as fashion accessory, used by trans women to fend off workers from the Gender Industry.  Most effective if enhanced by adding weight (see also "carry letter")

Hair, n.

Long stringy extrusion from my head, causing friends to identify me as a trans woman before I was ready to admit it, when their more perceptive daughters of pre-school age gleefully spotted the failure of my attempts to pretend to be male, and restyled my hair in a more feminine way.

Happy, adj.

Term used to describe a contented human being, the pursuit of happiness being a constitutional right of citizens of the USA, but systematically denied to many trans people around the world.

( HBIGDA )-now>( WPATH ), n., abbrev

Acronym for Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association, the trade association of the Gender Industry (q.v.).  Modelled on the mediaeval trades guilds, ( HBIGDA )-now>( WPATH ) exists to ensure that the Gender Industry remains profitable and that trans people know their place.  This is achieved by striving to protect the monopoly interests of its members through the promulgation of pseudo-science which is codified in the "Standards of Care" (q.v.).

Heterosexuality, n., abbrev

Sexual attraction to the opposite sex, required by many gender psychiatrists as a diagnostic criteria for trans people.  (see also "homosexuality")

History, n.

The academic discipline of recording and analysing our past, a process now being undertaken by many trans historians such as Leslie Feinberg, whose painstaking research is uncovering evidence of millennia of repression of trans people in Western "civilisation", despite their revered status in other cultures.

Hobson's Choice, n.

The dilemma faced by trans people who must choose between no access to medical treatment, or a repressive, intrusive, slow and insensitive process by which they will be treated only on terms intolerable to anyone whose fundamental identity is not at stake.

Homosexuality, n., abbrev

Sexual attraction to the same sex, required by some gender psychiatrists as a diagnostic criteria for trans people.  (see also "heterosexuality")

Hormone, n.

Powerful chemical substance controlling the body's development, generally misconfigured at birth in trans people.  Access to alternative supplies is carefully guarded by the Gender Industry (q.v.), but in fact easily available through unofficial routes.

Human Rights, n.

Widely-respected philosophical and legal construct asserting that certain minimal standards of safety, dignity and liberty shall be applied to the treatment of all people.  Regrettably, many trans people fail to read the unwritten clauses which exclude them from international conventions protecting human rights, and mistakenly waste their time and money applying for protection to the European Court of Human Rights.  (see also "Justice")

Human Rights, n.

Morally worthy policy goal of the UK government, rigorously applied in the conduct of its foreign policy (except to countries which are major purchasers of armaments), and which trans people have naively and foolishly expected should be applied to their own dismal situation at home.  (see also "forked tongue")

Hypocrisy, n.

The process by which the 1998 "Standards of Care" claim that 'The designation of Gender Identity Disorders as mental disorders is not a license for stigmatisation' (1998 SOC, part II, final para). 
[To avoid misunderstanding, I would like to take this opportunity to clarify that my characterisation of this statement as 'specious, insulting, self-contradictory and intellectually unworthy of a retarded mushroom after it has been cooked' should not be mistaken as a license to stigmatise the authors of the SOC.]

Inconsistency, n.

Normal feature of the complexity of human behaviour, forbidden to trans people by the 1998 SOC, from whom treatment may be withheld because "The clinician might think that the person is not yet ready because his behaviour frequently contradicts his stated needs and goals." (1998 SOC, Part II. 'The Mental Health Professional', para headed 'The Differences between Eligibility and Readiness.')
[N.B. this interpretation may be slightly unfair, in that the SOC's failure to use non-sexist language means that the consistency requirement may be interpreted as applying only to trans men.]

Infantile, adj.

The intellectual status which many trans women ruefully realise they have been assigned by men after their transition.

Intellectual fraud, n.

The process by which psychiatric theories about the classification of trans people are self-reinforcing.  The more such a theory is used to exclude trans people from treatment, the more that a GIC's statistics record that a high proportion of applicants are not really trans ... requiring the development of more diagnostic theories to ensure that others are excluded.  Most effectively practised at a major North American GIC, which is popularly believed to have developed a sufficiently comprehensive set of diagnostic theories to deny treatment to all its patients.

Intersex, adj.

Description of the physical state of a person whose body does not conform to societal expectations of a stereotypical male or female.  Intersexed persons are distinguished from trans people, from whom medical treatment is frequently withheld despite their persistent requests, by the imposition on intersexed people of surgical procedures without their consent (q.v.).  An important distinction must be noted here between the practise of these medical procedures in developing nations, where they are termed "mutilation" even if consented to, and in Western societies, where they are termed "correction", and are normally performed at an age before the patient is able to give consent and are rarely documented accurately in medical records.

Invisibility, n.

The popular perception of trans men, whose existence is largely overlooked in the widespread application of the term "transsexual" to trans women only.

Joan of Arc, n. prop

Name commonly attributed to a person martyred in mediaeval France for dressing as a man and living a male role in a gender-rigid society.  Analysis of the transcript of his trial offers conclusive evidence of his status as a trans man.

Justice, n.

The process by which courts recognise the existence of serious discrimination against trans people and denial of their civil rights, but generally fail to exercise their powers to remedy the situation.

Leviticus, n.

Book of the Old Testament of the Bible, with hundreds of strict conditions to be followed by the faithful -- and which very, very few Christians even attempt to follow.  Curiously overlooked by those who scour the good book looking for any clause which might be interpreted as a condemnation of trans people, but a very useful document to cite in response to misguided "christians" who seek scriptural support for their prejudice.

Lie, v.

The act of deliberately telling an untruth, which must be carefully practised by any trans person who seeks medical treatment from the Gender Industry.  Unless they tell lies by altering their life story to fit whatever criteria are currently fashionable, trans people are likely to be denied medical treatment.

Lure, n.

A bait laid down to entice the victim into entering a dangerous situation which they would otherwise avoid, as in the practice of GICs in offering the false promise of medical assistance in transition.  Trans people willingly enter the cage, and many remain trapped for years before realising that like a fish on a hook, the tasty prospects were an illusion.

Male, adj.

Attribute of superior sub-species of human being.  To protect impertinent inferior humans (see "woman", "little girlie", and "Barbie") from rising to this exalted status, psychiatric gatekeepers construct an obstacle course of humiliation.  (don't see "sexism").

Majority, n.

Legal term for the age at which people are deemed to be capable of taking responsibility for their own actions, an horrendous burden from which trans people are thoughtfully spared by the Gender Industry.

Marriage, n.

Formal partnership between a man and a woman, of such deeply subversive potential that UK law bans trans people from conducting a valid marriage.

Marriage, n.

Formal, loving partnership between two adults, and the foundation of the family.  As part of their policy of protecting and supporting the family, many enlightened countries such as The Netherlands and New Zealand therefore require by law that marriages be dissolved before surgical gender transition may be completed and/or legally recognised.  Presumably, this strengthens families and makes society a better place.

Medical Ethics, n.

Philosophical tenets respected by doctors, but reinterpreted within the Gender Industry as requiring that trans people accept at all times that those whom they pay for their treatment shall also make all decisions about their destiny.  (see also "Hobsons's Choice").

Mirror, n.

Glass reflective device, discovered by trans people only during or after transition, when it can be trained to stop lying.

Noah, n. prop

Boatbuilder and early pioneer of the binary model of gender identity, forced upon him by the lack of space in his ship.  Rather than taking a representative selection of gender identities on board the ark, he spotted a typing error in clause 6:19 of his contract, and cut corners by taking only two animals of each species -- one from each pole of the gender spectrum.


The as-yet unestablished regulator of fair treatment of consumers in the Gender Industry (q.v.).  Vigorously resisted by those enjoying substantive profits and prosperous lifestyles by withholding treatment from trans people, or offering it only on restrictive terms.  (see also "fat cats" and "monopoly").

Ormrod, Lord Justice, n. prop

Infamous judge, whose limited understanding of human anatomy was revealed in his judgement in the crucial 1970 Corbett-v-Corbett case, when he described the difference between anal intercourse and neo-vaginal intercourse as just "a difference to be measured in centimetres".  Unfortunately, the good judge died before it was possible to update his earlier medical training by reminding him that this is the case with all women.  I'm sure it would be in bad taste to speculate about what this says about His Lordship's sexual experience, so I won't.

Parent, n.

Adult taking responsibility for the care of one or more children, a responsibility recognised and encouraged by law unless the parent is trans, in which case it is likely to be expressly forbidden.

Pariah, n.

The sadly misunderstood status of the remaining four out of 39 European nations which continue to deny trans people full civil status in their true gender.  In fact, these four nations (Albania, Andorra, Ireland and the UK) take this brave and lonely stance out of spiritual concern for their trans subjects, reasoning that "a bit of suffering is good for their souls".  Since the current situation causes a lot of suffering, it must be very good for their souls.

Pass, v.

The act of a trans person in becoming no longer recognisable as such, historically vital to the survival of trans people -- who faced assault, discrimination and worse if identified as trans.  More usefully understood as the manoeuvre by which a car moves ahead of a more slowly-moving vehicle, which is important to remember -- because like the previous definition, it has very little to do with being trans.

Patient's Charter, n.

Government-issued set of guidelines laying down the standards which NHS patients are entitled to expect from medical practitioners ... unless, it seems, they are trans patients.  In 1997, a major UK Gender Identity Clinic responded to my query about the Patients Charter's rules on limiting the time spent on waiting lists by reassuring me that "we don't follow that bit".  Phew!  What a relief to know that the government's regulations won't be used to deprive me of the pleasure of joining an endless queue!

Penis, n.

Organ of the male human body of such overriding importance to Life, The Universe and Everything that the Gender Industry constructs complex and expensive procedures to prevent its removal.  Absence of this organ is conclusive proof of the universally-mourned diagnosis of "woman" (q.v.).

Popular, n.

The attitude of the public to trans people portrayed without the usual distortion, as evidenced by the success of singer Dana International (voted Eurovision winner by 350 million viewers) and the popularity of Coronation Street's Hayley Patterson, whose trial run was extended for two years by popular demand.

Porsche, n.

Horrendously expensive German motor car routinely purchased for medical professionals by trans people who willingly re-mortgage their homes, take out massive loans, or work in the sex industry to accumulate the necessary sums to provide said medics with this basic necessity of life.

Privacy, n.

Term inapplicable to trans people, who are required to disclose deeply personal aspects of their medical history in their day-to-day dealings with state and commercial bureaucracies.

Professional, adj.

Term of approbation used by the Gender Industry to describe the superior knowledge of those with second-hand experience of trans identities, as distinguished from the utterly inferior first-hand knowledge of trans people themselves.  Decision-making powers are therefore restricted to said lesser-informed persons, referred to as "professionals".

Psychosis, n.

An advanced form of mental disorder induced by prolonged contact with the Gender Industry.

Puberty, n.

Phase of human development when sex characteristics develop, deeply traumatic for trans people whose innate gender identity conflicts with that of their body.  To maximise the happiness and well-being of trans youth, the Gender Industry considerately insists that readily-available therapies to delay or prevent the onset of puberty must not be administered.  (see 1998 "Standards of Care", Part V. 'The Treatment of Adolescents', para 4 and part IV. 'The Treatment of Children').

Qualified, adj.

Attribute of those persons in the medical, psychiatric, and psychotherapeutic professions who have adopted a dogmatic, inflexible and controlling attitude to trans people and others with non-stereotyped gender identities, thereby entitling them to humiliate and extort money from their victims through the gender industry.  This status can be reached only through years of studying and internalising vast tomes of pseudo-science, and rigorously abandoning human empathy.

Rape, n.

A legal term for forced sexual intercourse, which courts in the UK have held cannot be applied to attacks on trans women.  Unfortunately, the learned judges' subtle distinctions seem to be ignored by sexual assailants.

Real Life Test, n.

Process by which trans people are forced to undergo a period of supervised conformity to gender stereotypes as a pre-requisite to receiving consent for treatment, as with one trans man told to give up his clerical job and seek work as a car mechanic.  (In this case, it was a particularly severe test because the man was a wheelchair user, but maybe the psychiatrist hadn't noticed that from his comfortable perch in a UK Gender Identity Clinic).  Casual guesswork estimates that 90% of the adult population would fail their Real Life Test, leading to speculation that this may be the origin of the rhetorical question "Is there life before death?"

Research, n.

The process by which spurious data is collected from unwilling trans subjects, assessed without any control population, and developed into a theoretical framework by false syllogism, statistical manipulation, and discarding of inconvenient facts.  The theories are then used for gatekeeping (q.v.).  (see also "intellectual fraud").

Respect, n.

[This term is not used in the Gender Industry].

Rib, n.

Bone of the human body frequently damaged by the laughter caused on reading the key texts of the Gender Industry.  Previously used for male-to-female gender transition (see "Eve").

Rumbled, n.

My feeling of relief when a close friend sat me down and asked why I pretended to be male.  That moment marked the end of pretence.

Science, n.

Branch of human knowledge which permits the formation of theories only on the basis of that which is measurable.  Inimical to trans people, for whom the core issue is that the most heavily contested aspect of their of their lives is their gender identity.  By virtue of its intangible nature, gender identity cannot be measured by science, which therefore obscures the issue by measuring secondary characteristics, and uses false syllogism to extend its conclusions to areas beyond the capabilities of the discipline.

Scientism, n.

Popular religious creed, based on the notion that science (q.v.) is the branch of human knowledge overriding all others.

Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS), n.

A fancy term for relatively simple surgical procedures sought by trans people.  The use of complex terminology has the important function of allowing lots of extraneous busybodies to assert their right to charge large fees to sanction the operations.

Sex, n.

Something remarkably unimportant to many trans people, but apparently very important to those who write about us.  (Also, containers of woven cloth in which coal is delivered).

Sexual attraction, n.

The criteria stated to be used by several male gender psychiatrists in their evaluation of trans women.  (see also "diagnosis")

Sex worker, n.

Person who sells sexual favours, as with all-too-many trans people who have no other way to pay for medical treatment when denied access to NHS care.  Also a career advocated by one frequently-cited gender psychiatrist as a means by which a post-vaginoplasty trans woman can boost her self-esteem.  (see also "perverted bastard").

Short, adj.

The length of the piece of legislation required to remedy the legal dilemma of trans people in the UK.

Skirt, n.

Garment worn on the lower part of the body, the wearing of which is an infallible identifier of a woman, according to the assessment criteria of many gender psychiatrists.

Small, adj.

The adjective applied by many trans women to their mammary glands, but which does not deter journalists from prurient interest.

SOC, adj.

Device for those who habitually put their foot in it.  (see also "Standards of Care")

Sophistry, n.

Specious and fallacious reasoning, as developed at great length by the UK government when explaining its inability to correct the civil status of its trans citizens.

Standards of Care, n.

A tragi-comic treatise published by ( HBIGDA )-now>( WPATH ) (qv), purporting to be a set of medical guidelines, but which in fact offers almost no standards of care.  Instead, the SOC is replete with regulations for the control of trans people.  (see also "comedy" and "repression")

Stereotype, adj.

A term wholly inapplicable to the broad-minded, feminist-derived process by which gender psychiatrists evaluate the progress of trans women by examining the quality of their manicure, checking the length of their nails, requiring them to wear skirts, and awarding points for skilfully-applied makeup.  So unstereotyped is this process that very few of the women going about their lives outside the Gender Identity Clinics would meet the criteria.  (see also "sarcasm")

Stiletto, adj.

Woman's shoe with tall spiked heel.  Very uncomfortable to wear, difficult to walk in, and bad for the ankles -- but likely to satisfy a gender psychiatrist that a trans woman conforms to stereotypes.  Also very useful as a device to painfully reconfigure the feet of said psychiatrist if applied with sufficient force to his toes.

Straight face, n.

The expression maintained with great difficulty by the wise men of the gender industry who simultaneously classify trans people as 'disordered' and incompetent to decide their own destinies -- and then express regret that such persons are subject to stigmatisation and discrimination.

Support group, adj.

Non-judgmental social structure by which people offer mutual assistance and empathy.  Clearly therefore, a clique of such self-evident wickedness that one UK gender psychiatrist banned the trans people's support group from continuing to meet on his clinic's premises.

Toilet, n.

Publicly accessible changing room used by trans women to change into the required uniform of a skirt (q.v.) before visits to Gender Identity Clinics.  Regrettably, this usage is hindered by the misunderstanding of the general public, who assume that toilets are a place for the exercise of vital bodily functions.

Torture, n.

Inhuman and degrading treatment forbidden by Human Rights conventions, which must never be confused with the practise of those Gender Identity Clinics which require trans people redirected from another medical centre to imperil their sense of well-being and their physical health by discontinuing hormonal treatment.

Tragedy, n.

Term used by psychiatric writers on trans issues to describe the fate of any person who in any way regrets a step of their transition, even if they conclude that it was, like other decisions in life, an insignificant mistake worth making.  Must never be applied to those whose lives are blighted by the denial of treatment, or those who end their lives after being discarded by the Gender Identity Clinics.  (see "follow-up" and "penis")

Transphobia, n.

Spoof medical term invented by trans people to describe the debilitating mental condition afflicting the majority of workers in the Gender Industry, whose main priority appears to be to prevent people from enjoying their trans identities, even at the cost of devastating personal distress.

Transsexual, n.

Obsolete medical term popularised in the 1950s to describe the medical profession's belated and grudging recognition of a category of people who have existed throughout human history.

Transspeciesist, n.

Stupid term which someone is bound to coin someday to enable people to write jargon-ridden, scholarly nonsense about my desire to be re-incarnated as a cat.  Doubtless, there will in time be a classification in the DSM (q.v), and eventually a proliferation of Species Identity Clinics.

Transvestite, n.

Clever-sounding term for a person who wear clothing of the opposite sex, used to disguise the inadequacy of the concept.  Applied to a man who wears female clothing, but not applied to women, because most women wear lots of male clothing anyway -- as many an irate spouse will testify!

Unethical, n.

Medical term for the behaviour of medical personnel who act in accordance with the wishes of their trans patients, as opposed to the "ethical" behaviour of those who impose their own values on trans people.

Vatican, n.

A hill in Rome which formerly accommodated the temple of a sect of transgendered priests, but now occupied by another sect which adopted for its senior personnel the most sacred symbol of the previous occupants -- a mitred hat.  [N.B. This is one I didn't make up!]

Woman, n.

Inferior sub-species of homo sapiens.  To discourage the superior sub-species -- those apparently male (q.v.) -- from degrading themselves by becoming in any way like women, complex structures of gatekeeping have been established, as laid down by ( HBIGDA )-now>( WPATH ) (q.v.).

Weighing scales, n.

Perfidious mechanical device which wildly exaggerates the body weight of trans women.  (See also "little green men", "flying saucers" and "paranoia")


Changeling AspectsIn affiliation with Agender-(Aust) & Transbridge-(Townsville)

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